Shower Heads: Women vs. Men

First let me tell you that this article was NOTThe washcloth generally sits unused but
intended to be humorous at all. It was simplysometimes will be used for that "extra cleaning"
meant to be an informational piece about showerfor church days, birthdays, Christmas, Mother's
heads and what people preferred. The more IDay, and anniversaries. Just ask a bunch of men
investigated the more I found there were hugehow well they scrub their backs and how often!
differences between what men want vs. whatSo What Do Women And Men Want In A
women want in shower head. The more men andShower Head?
women I talked with the more obvious andNow that you know the differences in "rituals"
humorous the differences became. I even hadwomen and men have you can plainly see that
much insight into the completely different yetshowering for women is all about indulging,
hilarious shower habits and "rituals" of men andpampering, beauty, relaxation, variety, stimulation
women. As funny as these habits are most menof senses, and gentle care for their body. You
will relate to the men's habits and women willcan also see that men just want to get in and
relate to the women's habits. I bet you will too.get out of the shower as fast as they can with
What will really tickle your funny bone is whenas little work as possible, plain and simple. By
YOU present or email this article to your partner,knowing these distinctions you can see why each
friends, relatives, coworkers, or whomever youprefers the type of shower head they do.
know. Be sure to ask them their opinions on it. IWomen: Typically women prefer a shower head
will venture a guess that the responses youthat provides a gentle stream of water so that it
receive will be humorously similar to thecontacts their skin in a soothing pleasing sort of
observations I have made (even though they areway. Most generally soft water, water saving
completely blown out of proportion).types of shower heads where the water just has
Before I get into the shower head differences itenough force to hit the middle of the shower. If it
may be helpful to note the shower habits womensprays too hard it will be uncomfortable to
and men have. This is important because thereperform their entire shower "ritual." If you see
tends to be a direct relationship between theseany shower head models with the words water
habits and what shower head is preferred.saver, sweet, serenity, soft, gentle, soothing,
Women: Their Shower Ritualcalm, or mild then it's a good choice for a shower
Most men cannot even fathom the strangehead for a woman.
"rituals" that go on when a woman showers. TheyMen: Most men would agree that soft just does
only thing men know is that when the door shutsnot cut it. Instead of spending time scrubbing
this "ritual" will last anywhere from 30 minutes toevery body part they would prefer a shower
about 5 hours. After which the door swings open,head that can literally BLAST the grime right off.
steam erupts out of the bathroom, and a barelyWhat would be better if it just removes the skin
noticeable figure is standing, almost glowing, in thealtogether. For men you should look for shower
midst of it. It is pretty much like something out ofhead models like the Skin Remover 2150 (yes I
a sci-fi movie.made that up) or anything with the words blaster,
Women have this "armory" of products theyshooter, drencher, or acupuncture in it.
"absolutely need" to conduct this shower "ritual."Women: Women also prefer a shower head that
What we are talking about here is 30 differentgives them a variety of settings that well help
kinds of shower gels, soaps, scrubs, and whatnotthem feel pampered and indulge in their shower
that will take care of dry skin, flaky skin, oily skin,experience. They would prefer settings similar to
combination skin, slightly oily flaky dry skin, flakytropical rainfall, summer mist, cascading waterfall,
oily something or other skin, etc. Each is pleasantlyspring drizzle, etc.
scented that can resemble a fragrance such asMen: Forget all the soft gentle settings. The only
frosting, cakes, chocolate, candy, and assortedreason men would want a huge range of settings
fruits and berries which can relax or invigorateis to be able to increase water pressure. That is
their senses. Women also require somewhereall.
around 5 shampoos and 9 conditioners, each withWomen: A shower is prime relaxation time for
different purposes for their ever-changingwomen. It is a mandatory part of their shower
hairstyles as well as an assortment of wash"ritual." Hey, women get sore muscles and
cloths, scrubbers, buffers, bath puffs, etc. forstressed just as much as men do. This is why
each of their "10,029" parts. To top it all off theywomen like shower heads with 70 different
require assorted hair removal tools includingmassage settings that provide varying degrees of
shaving mousses, gels, creams, before and afterrelaxation. Keep in mind that those massage
shaving gels, etc. Somehow women manage tosettings still must be gentle so that they remain
cram all of this into the 26 rack they haveas comfortable as possible.
hanging in the shower.Men: Now men also like those massage settings.
Women take their time in the shower, obviously.Again, only because they tend to increase water
Covering every nook and cranny on their body.pressure. The massage settings should not be
Inspecting every square inch for any sort ofanything gentle. Usually a shower head with a
imperfection that can be taken care of by one ofsingle "machine gun" massage setting that can
the many showering products they use. They willshoot holes through someone's body knocking
wash their hair not once, not twice, butthem to the back of the shower disfigured and
repeatedly until there is no shampoo anddismembered is what men really prefer.
conditioner left in the house even the hiddenWomen: The most important preference women
backups under the sink and stashed in the attic.have for a shower head is that it compliments
Even when all of this care is done they still mustthe bathroom decor. If it does not look good with
go through their "after shower ritual." Consumingthe decor it won't be found anywhere near the
another 10 hours of their day for a 1-hour outing.bathroom despite any cool features the shower
But, you won't hear me complain because the endhead has.
result is always stunning and beautiful.Men: Who cares what it looks like as long as the
Men: Their Shower Ritualdarned thing works! Pretty much well anything
Now let's take a look at the shower "ritual" of athat resembles a fire hose that can shoot a
man. Well, it isn't much of a ritual at all. You seestream of water 3 blocks down the street and
men are quite simple creatures. They requiredistribute enough water to fill a backyard
very little in the way of showering items or evenswimming pool in less than 3 minutes is all that is
time.required.
More than likely if you look in a man's shower youOkay, so now you know what men and women
will see 5 or so items; a rarely used washcloth, awant in a shower head. If you have separate his
bar of soap (usually with the name of a hotel onand her showers then half the battle is won
it), cheap shampoo/conditioner combo (only if healready. All you have to do is install the best
has hair), and possibly a razor with shaving cream.shower head according to what you and your
That is it!partner prefer. However, there are people who
Men do not take much time at all because theyhave no choice but to share a shower with their
are the MASTERS of the 30-second shower.loving partner. The trick here is to install a shower
Typically men will fiddle around for a bit runninghead that is has as many of the features
the bar of soap around their body with specialpreferred by women that also has a skin ripping
attention to armpits and those "other" 2 spots.blaster and a machine gun massage setting
They will hold their fingernails under the spray andpreferred by men. If you somehow find one, you
hope that any gunk gets shot out. Men will washand your partner will have the best shower
their hair just once rinsing it while they do wash it.experience of your lives.